Living In The Grey

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Life is full of overwhelming decisions and feelings of little to no direction. Opportunities are endless, dreams are big, but what are we supposed to do? Sometimes, it seems like life gets stuck in the grey.

I’ve spent much time wishing that everything in my life was more black and white. I just want to know what God wants for me. Where am I’m going to live? What job am I going to have and what should I do? Part of me just wants to know all the things that God has planned!

Any area of uncertainty can have the power to create this world of discomfort in my mind. It drives me crazy and my mind ends up up running around in circles, never sure if all this running is ever going to take me anywhere.

I’ve realized there’s this place of fear in me that tries to run away from the unknown, but you can’t. I’d let fear of the unknown prevent me from taking risks. I’d settle for good when God might have something great– I just can’t see it. Rather than trusting, I find myself trying to gain control by creating my own certainty in a bubble of comfort. I’ve come to recognize these walls I’ve built to protect myself. Within the past year, I’ve also come to experience the freedom of knocking some of them down. There are areas in my life where I’d been settling for what I know I can effortlessly achieve, even if it’s not my greatest desire.

Most of us could probably agree that living in uncertainty can be annoying, but in order to have faith it’s necessary. Think about it. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1). God wants us to give Him our hearts and trust His great plan, even when we have no idea what that is. Fear will get in the way of you fulfilling your purpose, for fear is the opposite of faith.

We will always face grey areas in life. In fact, we need the grey. If we knew everything, how often would we pray? Probably not very. We need to be in prayer in order to be in relationship with God. We need to be asking Him and involving Him in the process of making decisions.

When we try to know everything we are trying to be our own God. We are trying to say we have the answers, or that we know what we’re doing, when we don’t. We rule God out of the process. We need to turn to Him when things are in the grey.

As badly as I want clarity all the time, I want God more. If it means my relationship with Him will be greater, I’ll choose to live in the grey where faith and trust must exist.

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