Life is too short to waste time dwelling on the past.
Moving on is one of life’s most difficult battles. I have many things that I wish I would have done differently, things I wish I hadn’t done, and there are things I kick myself for not doing. I find that I sometimes feel trapped and stuck with the decisions I’ve made. I’ve let them get ahold of my life in some aspects.
It has gotten to a point where it has been interfering with my worship. Instead of worshiping God for who He is, I find myself feeling guilty and regret for missed opportunities and mistakes I’ve made. We all have skeletons in our closet, things we are embarrassed of and also opportunities that we never took and wish we would have. The thing is, the entire purpose of the gospel is to set us free from these past mistakes. I guess I’ve always been so hard on myself that I don’t feel worthy enough to deserve the freedom that the Word of God brings. Obviously I’m not worthy enough to deserve this. No one is and that’s why we need Him. It feels like a lesson that I should have gotten a long time ago, but for some reason I feel like I actually need Him now more than ever. I’ve realized just how long I’ve been holding onto things. Things that happened years ago and things that have happened recently and it has gotten to a point where I just can’t take it anymore.
One of my favorite songs has a line in it, “and I don’t have the time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that he loves us.” I can’t believe it has taken me THIS long for those lines to actually mean something to me.
The other night I was at a church service and during the worship, for some reason, I opened my bible and came across James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” I looked at the verse, and didn’t want to think about it. I don’t want to talk about my problems with anyone, it’s not important. Then, OF COURSE, during the service we turned to that passage and it was part of the sermon. Of all passages we had to read THAT one. I can’t stop smiling at how God works like that. Later, I ended up chatting with one of my friends and felt the need to confess. It was a really freeing experience, something I’m not used to. I don’t like to admit my mistakes. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, but at the same time it’s crucial to find someone you trust and know that it’s okay.
We have to be willing to be more vulnerable with one another. If we aren’t, then how are we going to encourage others to experience this type of healing? I realized that I need to be done holding back. In reality it’s true, we DON’T have the time to maintain these regrets. That’s why we need Jesus. We need to confess, we need to repent, we need to be forgiven, and we need to move on. Our purpose here on earth is not to dwell on our mistakes. While talking with my friend, He pointed out that if we dwell on our mistakes we’re more likely to make them again. That is why we need to set our minds on what is above. We need to set our eyes on God and make that the focus. He has already forgiven me, therefore I need to forgive myself and be healed. When we admit and repent God forgives and forgets. I guess you’re never too old to learn the simplest of lessons.